I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
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