Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
