i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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