she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Randomize
