remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
In other news, I just burned my penis
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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