Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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