just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
