Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
