I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
