Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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