i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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