I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Randomize
