dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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