I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical�
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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