it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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