I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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