I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Randomize
