I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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