I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
