This girl is more easily done than said...
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
