It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
