My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
