We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
