So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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