They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives�
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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