Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Randomize
