Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
you told grandpa to call you daddy
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
