is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
