You work out of a Hotel?
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
