a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
