Whoa Z and x make the same sound
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
