Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
