You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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