dude i'm inner monologue high
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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