it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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