if you like me you must not know who I am
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
