Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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