they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
