dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
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