saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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