I swear she didn't look like that last week.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
