I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Green mimosas i think yes
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Can you bring me the toilet please
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
