Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
