you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
