Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
