bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I did not marry a roomba.
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