everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
