You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
