He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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