I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
