I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
