idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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