They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
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