very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
