As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
