It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
