Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
