Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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