Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
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