I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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