oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
