He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Randomize
